
We need a town meeting. Resolution must be reached on who best represents Chicago when the world is watching.
As the Blackhawks begin their trek into the Western Conference finals, it's as good a time as any to revisit the discussion.
Which celebrity best says ''Chicago'' when the Hawks take the big stage and television insists on a ''face guy?''
Our fur-less mascot must have universal appeal. He or she must cross generations and genders. That person must embody our strength, generosity and penchant for having a good time.
I know it's not a debate that gets the blood up as much as why the Bears didn't win more Super Bowls in the '80s. Or why such acrimony existed when the Bulls copped six NBA titles in the '90s. Or whether Steve Bartman cost the Cubs a World Series appearance.
Nonetheless, it is dialogue that exists at the water cooler and in gin mills and bowling alleys from Waukegan to Whiting.
We kick it off by using the process of elimination.
President Obama is out. Too busy. Besides, Obama is most noted as a White Sox enthusiast, and they will need a frontman for their postseason ride.
Jim Belushi. Out. ''According To Jim'' is predictable and uninspired. And I say John's little brother is a fake Chicagoan anyway. When he pops up on ''Monday Night Football'' for a Bears game, he flies in and out the same day.
Eddie Vedder. We can find a better man. Pearl Jam was the rockin'est band of the '90s, but whenever their lead singer sits down next to Cubs television voice Len Kasper -- a knowledgeable music buff -- he invariably acts like he'd rather be somewhere else. If you're too cool for the room, you don't represent the city that works.
Mike Ditka. Too dated. Forgive the blasphemy, but dere are doze who never saw da man coach, let alone play for da Bears , my friend.
Oprah. Too chicky. This is hockey. We need testosterone, not tissues.
Mayor Daley. Too cranky.
Michael Jordan. Absolutely not. Many Blackhawks fans resented the Bulls' success. The Hawks were good in the early '90s, too, but because of Jordan and the Bulls, the Hawks always took a back seat.
Bill Murray. Too risky. Murray's Carl Spackler from ''Caddyshack'' likely is the most-quoted character from the most-quoted guy movie ever. But do we really want to risk the chance Murray has a few too many and crashes a golf cart on United Center ice when the world is watching? Well, at least the portion of the world that knows what Versus is and can find it on their cable or satellite service.
My want is to nominate William Petersen, the creator and former star of the CBS smash television program ''CSI.'' Petersen meets all the criteria, but I can't be objective on this one. He's a pal, and I must make a recommendation completely devoid of emotion and bias.
I think I've got it. It's Vince Vaughn.
Vaughn is enormously popular with adult men because his characters in movies such as ''Swingers,'' ''Old School'' and ''The Break-Up'' are guys with whom you want to hang. He's a decent-looking cat and he's funny, so the ladies like him. The youngsters dig him, too, because of his fine work in films such as ''Dodgeball'' and ''Anchorman.''
There is no doubt a heavy dose of Vaughn during the Blackhawks' rise to prominence would be overwhelmingly well-received.
Anybody want to second the motion? Or offer a better suggestion?
Vote as often as you'd like. This is, after all, Chicago.
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